February 27, 2003 - 3:56 p.m.

Top Movies of 2002

Like everything I do, this will be done in a complicated non-standard format with latitude to wander far afield. I do have rules. For me 2002 means, It was released in 2002, either at a theater or it made its video debut. And I saw it. I don't do top 10 lists. Too much pressure. Think of this as the grammy awards, bloated with categories you didn't know were categories with one difference. Its damn near impossible to win two awards with the same picture. We'll see if I pull off the impossible or not as, like all my work, you're getting the first draft as it occurs to me. This will happen over several posting days.

Best SF Movie of 2002

The Nominees are many, the winner but one. I think the best standard SF movie of the year was Star Trek Nemisis. There are other movies which might have made this category, for example Minority Report, but maybe, just maybe those nominees might be in another category. Nemises' greatest foe in this battle was Star Wars 2 which was more then a little disappointing to this viewer. But Star Trek won not because Star Wars disappointed, but because Star Trek DIDN'T. It was an action packed, well written, well directed, well acted movie. Ok, the Dune buggy scene was a bit much but as for the rest of the movie, action galore. I swear the Enterprise fired more photon torpedoes in this movie then they did in all the seasons combined. This movie hearkened back to the best movie of the entire franchise, Star Trek, The Wrath of Khan. It positively reverberated at times, yet was a unique story. Last of the Trek franchise? I hope not, they finally made a good one.

Best Mainstream Movie with Erotic Elements

I know what you're thinking. You freaking pervert Bill. Nope. It takes two to tangle and I've discussed these movies with the brains of my outfit. Calling her a pervert will get you punched. Three nominees for this one. Monster's Ball, with Billy Bob Thornton and Hallie Berry. One long extremely good sex scene with position changes, basically pretty close to porn in terms of everything except for explicitness. Original Sin, starring Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie, and finally Unfaithful starring Richard Gere, Diane Lane, and Olivier Martinez. The winner is Unfaithful, up until a Snow Globe scene this one had my wife captivated. She kept saying what an idiot Diane Lane was for cheating on her husband, but it was a hot hot hot movie. Diane Lane is damn good looking for 40. I wish I looked anything close to being in shape. The sex was hot, passionate and believeable. On the other hand, Original Sin gets an award for best covering of Angelina's Tattoos, which are many. And the several scenes of them together are awkward and unbelievable (except for the kissing) Antonio gets the Sly Stallone award, given in honor of Sly's incredibly insane sex scene with Sharon Stone in The Specialist. A scene which guarantees that no real sex could be happening due to the contortions in the male body. In the case of Sly, so we could see all his muscles. In the case of Antonio, I suspect its because Mrs. Banderas might be a bit unhappy. Or Mr. Thornton.

Best Off Beat Movie

It's Donnie Darko. No suspense needed. This movie could be nominate in horror, Science Fiction, regular, comedy, drama, you name it, this one is category bending. But its definately off beat. Lots of competition. I like watching wierd stuff. One critically acclaimed movie was Ghost World, which, not too surprisingly was nothing at all about Ghosts. It was made from a comic book however, which by their very nature is OFF Beat. It was interesting, but no Donnie Darko. The Comedy Bubble Boy could also compete here, interestingly enough, the star of Donnie Darko was the Star of Bubble Boy, take a bow Jake G.

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